So, after CPS decided that we needed a few more things before we were ready to open a school, I decided to take some time to truly assess my life and what I wanted. After two months, I came to the conclusion that I needed a new start towards a more fulfilling life. My personal mission statement reads: TO UTILIZE MY CREATIVE ENERGY, MY INTUITIVE WISDOM AND MY COMPREHENSION THROUGH WRITING, TRAVELING AND ORGANIZING IN AN EFFORT TO SEE THE WORLD FROM A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE, BALANCE & BLISS (for me this is self-actualization).
My mission statement, also happens to be one of my top 4 life priorities: Health, Family, Mission, & Wealth (spiritual & financial).
That said, I decided to restructure to make sure that I am attending to the things that are top priority to me. I certainly recognize some stagnation in all areas and am now cleansing for renewal. The cleansing means fasting; and while it is good mentally, spiritually, physically & emotionally, I've been hungry (first time ever).
I just started today and have faltered already (I drank hot chocolate). Additionally, I am aware that tomorrow I have an engagement that I can allow to challenge me or I can simply start anew the day after.
Hmm, what would you do?
Well, I'll keep you posted.
Yvonnie
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Which candidate are you really in synch with?
Think you know which candidate your values match up with? Are you really able to dodge the seductive dance of race and gender? Try this link http://www.dag.nl/Nieuws/kieskompas.htm. Here you can answer about 25 questions and get results on where you stand with presidential hopefuls. This scoring helps to eliminate those hidden biases of appearance that we coddle.
And may the best candidate win!?
And may the best candidate win!?
Monday, May 26, 2008
What if everyone knew everyone?
"What if everyone in the world knew, everyone else in the world," my 6 year old asked me?
"What an interesting concept," I thought to myself. So, I asked a dear friend what he thought. "Well, life would be pretty boring if there were no new people to meet," he suggested.
"Hmm. Not exactly," I responded. In fact, in my mind, meeting new people is not always the point that is exciting. Hearing new stories and ideas are what is thrilling, right? I mean, if you are away from your children or spouse or best friend for a few days, talking to them about the things they have experienced over the past few days is what is enjoyable, right?
When Stevie asked me the question, the first thing I thought was, "then, no one could steal or harm others in secret." Think about it, instead of stealing, you would simply be forced to ask for what you need, because everyone knows you; there's no getting away with it.
I like the idea because now, when I speak to strangers (a habit passed to me from my mom), some of them hesitate or act as if I am not speaking to them. If they were not exactly strangers, wouldn't they, more than likely, speak back?
If we all knew each other wouldn't we be more prone to assist others and wouldn't we pay closer attention to the signs of someone in trouble?
If everyone knew everyone we might have less awe over movie stars and professional athletes. You would realize that they too are working to earn a living.
If everyone knew everyone, maybe everyone could get a job that they truly enjoyed; doing something they always wanted to do.
If everyone knew everyone there might be less corruption in politics. Think about it, not only would you know Hilary, John and Barack, but with a few phone calls, you could possibly know what their presidential agenda was. In fact, if everyone knew everyone, maybe no one would have voted for Bush.
If everyone knew everyone there might be less racism, sexism and class-ism.
If everyone knew everyone there might be fewer violent crimes and maybe there would be no war.
"What if everyone in the world knew, everyone else in the world?" I love this question. It is the question of a naive 6-year-old yet, I feel it is a brilliant concept. I would love for everyone to know everyone. But, maybe I am missing something. Maybe there would be something wrong with knowing everyone.
What do you think? If everyone knew everyone... What do you think that would mean?
"What an interesting concept," I thought to myself. So, I asked a dear friend what he thought. "Well, life would be pretty boring if there were no new people to meet," he suggested.
"Hmm. Not exactly," I responded. In fact, in my mind, meeting new people is not always the point that is exciting. Hearing new stories and ideas are what is thrilling, right? I mean, if you are away from your children or spouse or best friend for a few days, talking to them about the things they have experienced over the past few days is what is enjoyable, right?
When Stevie asked me the question, the first thing I thought was, "then, no one could steal or harm others in secret." Think about it, instead of stealing, you would simply be forced to ask for what you need, because everyone knows you; there's no getting away with it.
I like the idea because now, when I speak to strangers (a habit passed to me from my mom), some of them hesitate or act as if I am not speaking to them. If they were not exactly strangers, wouldn't they, more than likely, speak back?
If we all knew each other wouldn't we be more prone to assist others and wouldn't we pay closer attention to the signs of someone in trouble?
If everyone knew everyone we might have less awe over movie stars and professional athletes. You would realize that they too are working to earn a living.
If everyone knew everyone, maybe everyone could get a job that they truly enjoyed; doing something they always wanted to do.
If everyone knew everyone there might be less corruption in politics. Think about it, not only would you know Hilary, John and Barack, but with a few phone calls, you could possibly know what their presidential agenda was. In fact, if everyone knew everyone, maybe no one would have voted for Bush.
If everyone knew everyone there might be less racism, sexism and class-ism.
If everyone knew everyone there might be fewer violent crimes and maybe there would be no war.
"What if everyone in the world knew, everyone else in the world?" I love this question. It is the question of a naive 6-year-old yet, I feel it is a brilliant concept. I would love for everyone to know everyone. But, maybe I am missing something. Maybe there would be something wrong with knowing everyone.
What do you think? If everyone knew everyone... What do you think that would mean?
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Polygamy
So, I keep hearing about these people that have been busted for committing polygamy. What is so wrong with polygamy? Well, before you answer and please know that I welcome all comments, I'd like to take this time to give you something to think about.
I believe that most men marry so that they can secure that the woman they love, at this time, will make and or accept fewer opportunities for having sex with others. Once we begin to have children and sex lessens (in most marriages) his interest begins to wander (more than likely it was wandering before, but arriving home to a young, sexy and vigorous wife helped to keep that in check). He is horny and we are tired from caring for the kids, possibly working a job and maintaining the home in the same capacity we did before the kids and even if we are thinking about it, the time for foreplay is limited. Many of us are uncertain why sex is less appealing at this point, but we are easily offended when he complains. The perfect gift for us would be a free sitter, an occasional massage, a night out, and a satisfied husband. Add to that a nearby girlfriend whom we can share with, whose kids can play well with ours and who loves to swap responsibilities. Well, at this point many of us think heaven has just opened its gates.
Well, that's what I think polygamy must be like. I am thinking, hey she watches the kids sometimes, just like I watch hers. She watches them while I get a massage and while I enjoy a night out, with or without the husband. The husband is certainly satisfied because he has two or more to switch off with (I am most likely not up for it every night). I've got built in girlfriends that I can talk to and whom I have the best play dates with. We switch off responsibilities like taking the kids to activities, or cooking or grocery shopping. I hope they want to homeschool or unschool as it is.
Maybe I am being naive. In my mind, just because the relationship is polygamist does not mean that I am being controlled by someone else. To me, it means that I have more control of the things I want to do. I can date other men and not feel so guilty. I can pursue the sort of career I'd like. I can hit the road with my kids whenever I desire. There are so many things I could do undetected. And the cherry on top of the cake is that there would be no pretending that he is not seeing someone else; he'd actually have permission because I thought it through and said yes for the above reasons.
I'll bet, the main reasons why anyone of you would not agree to polygamy are based on issues of possession and/or societal norms. We do not own our spouses. We cannot control or know what they do when they are not with us whether we are polygamist or not. And what is the benefit of being able to say "he is with me only." Not being able to say this makes us worry that others will look at us in a negative way. What if that were no longer an issue? Jealousy, is that an issue? What is there to be jealous of if another woman is doing something that I have thought through and decided I simply cannot comply to; I mean I just do not want to?
So, by now you are laughing out loud or thinking I am crazed. And I cannot tell you which is the case. I am not for or against polygamy. I simply like to ask myself "what is the issue here?" Why does everyone care what the other is doing? How does it affect me? I wish I could say I never judge others. I do judge, but when I hear myself, I begin to ask myself "why?"
How can we teach our children not to judge if we never question ourselves about that action?
So, during a recent conversation on polygamy, my classmates informed me that many of the children of these relationships suffer sexual abuse. I do not know what many is, as there were no statistics exchanged. Meanwhile, I am 100% against sexual abuse of any sort. And I must say that sexual abuse is not a side effect of polygamy, that is a side-effect of not communicating and not addressing this issue head on in society without shame (not the abused person's shame, but the shame of a nation that pretends it is not as big an issue as it is). We all want to categorize these instances so that we can distance ourselves from them. In the polygamist relationships, where the children were being molested, I am willing to bet that even if the man had only one wife, he would have the same intentions and actions with his children and the woman would probably have the same response.
All seriousness aside, in a polygamist relationship I think I might just get the long end of the stick. I'll bet you're thinking about it now too. Hmm?
Disclosure:
This blog entry does not represent any aspect of my home relationship or my husband's character (lol).
I believe that most men marry so that they can secure that the woman they love, at this time, will make and or accept fewer opportunities for having sex with others. Once we begin to have children and sex lessens (in most marriages) his interest begins to wander (more than likely it was wandering before, but arriving home to a young, sexy and vigorous wife helped to keep that in check). He is horny and we are tired from caring for the kids, possibly working a job and maintaining the home in the same capacity we did before the kids and even if we are thinking about it, the time for foreplay is limited. Many of us are uncertain why sex is less appealing at this point, but we are easily offended when he complains. The perfect gift for us would be a free sitter, an occasional massage, a night out, and a satisfied husband. Add to that a nearby girlfriend whom we can share with, whose kids can play well with ours and who loves to swap responsibilities. Well, at this point many of us think heaven has just opened its gates.
Well, that's what I think polygamy must be like. I am thinking, hey she watches the kids sometimes, just like I watch hers. She watches them while I get a massage and while I enjoy a night out, with or without the husband. The husband is certainly satisfied because he has two or more to switch off with (I am most likely not up for it every night). I've got built in girlfriends that I can talk to and whom I have the best play dates with. We switch off responsibilities like taking the kids to activities, or cooking or grocery shopping. I hope they want to homeschool or unschool as it is.
Maybe I am being naive. In my mind, just because the relationship is polygamist does not mean that I am being controlled by someone else. To me, it means that I have more control of the things I want to do. I can date other men and not feel so guilty. I can pursue the sort of career I'd like. I can hit the road with my kids whenever I desire. There are so many things I could do undetected. And the cherry on top of the cake is that there would be no pretending that he is not seeing someone else; he'd actually have permission because I thought it through and said yes for the above reasons.
I'll bet, the main reasons why anyone of you would not agree to polygamy are based on issues of possession and/or societal norms. We do not own our spouses. We cannot control or know what they do when they are not with us whether we are polygamist or not. And what is the benefit of being able to say "he is with me only." Not being able to say this makes us worry that others will look at us in a negative way. What if that were no longer an issue? Jealousy, is that an issue? What is there to be jealous of if another woman is doing something that I have thought through and decided I simply cannot comply to; I mean I just do not want to?
So, by now you are laughing out loud or thinking I am crazed. And I cannot tell you which is the case. I am not for or against polygamy. I simply like to ask myself "what is the issue here?" Why does everyone care what the other is doing? How does it affect me? I wish I could say I never judge others. I do judge, but when I hear myself, I begin to ask myself "why?"
How can we teach our children not to judge if we never question ourselves about that action?
So, during a recent conversation on polygamy, my classmates informed me that many of the children of these relationships suffer sexual abuse. I do not know what many is, as there were no statistics exchanged. Meanwhile, I am 100% against sexual abuse of any sort. And I must say that sexual abuse is not a side effect of polygamy, that is a side-effect of not communicating and not addressing this issue head on in society without shame (not the abused person's shame, but the shame of a nation that pretends it is not as big an issue as it is). We all want to categorize these instances so that we can distance ourselves from them. In the polygamist relationships, where the children were being molested, I am willing to bet that even if the man had only one wife, he would have the same intentions and actions with his children and the woman would probably have the same response.
All seriousness aside, in a polygamist relationship I think I might just get the long end of the stick. I'll bet you're thinking about it now too. Hmm?
Disclosure:
This blog entry does not represent any aspect of my home relationship or my husband's character (lol).
Presence in the midst of a whirlwind
It's been awhile; approximately one entire month (as my 6 year old would put it). So, what's been going on? EVERYTHING and I've learned to appreciate that. I accept that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life (A New Earth) and having the exact experiences that I am supposed to be having. With that, I am enjoying some pretty cool side effects.
So, what is EVERYTHING? Let's count them.
First, for the past month I have been working on putting together a design team for the CPS RFP (e-i-e-i-o). I love learning, so this process has been great. With it is comes a 13 workshop series hosted by CPS. It addresses the steps of designing a new school. So, I've been attending the workshops two days per week.
Second, I've been working on completing my Masters Program. This includes two classes per week, lots of writing, (another favorite of mine) and lately a few interviews, networking opportunities and presentations. A load of work is expected of us but, it is completely preparing me for the many tasks that come with designing the school. In 8 weeks I graduate (whew) with an MSNM (Master's of Science in Non-profit Management with a concentration in Fund Raising).
Third, the classes and programs that my children are in are coming to an end but, my husband has just changed his work schedule and pulled back on the amount of kid time he is willing to commit to (specifically time with my nephew, not our kids). That translates into me putting in more time. There is a reason for everything and I have accepted that I have not been truly devoting face time to the kids. This realization has benefited the kids and me. BTW, that same husband (like I have others, who could handle that?) has been hassling me about the time frame in which I plan to be producing an income. He is concerned that I am planning to commit my life to volunteer work (The CPS project is like a school project, 'no pay'). So, again, I know this has a purpose, but right now, his comments simply roll off my back.
So, in the midst of my whirlwind schedule and non-compassionate spouse, I have begun to get comfortable, because I have come to recognize that the schedule and balancing act force me to be present. If I were not present with each project, I would be unable to accomplish any of them. And that is the key to why I am at this stage of my life. In the past, whenever I would ask the Universe to present me with an opportunity, I would ask for multiples. The universe is just, it would send each of my requests at the same time. Time after time, I would get overwhelmed, not by the work itself, but by the anticipation of how difficult it would all become. As a result, the fear I created would choke my efforts and I would accomplish nothing. This time though, I recognize and cherish the need to be present. So, when it is time to be with my kids, I simply tell myself I'm spending time with the kids and I become present in that interaction (that does not include park time, because that has also become about my time to socialize). When I am working on school stuff, it's one class and one project at a time. Some things are late, but all things are focused. When I am working on CPS stuff, I am present in that project too.
The result of my new found presence has somehow translated into extra time. I am eating healthier and enjoying more meals with my family. I am running more frequently and more efficiently. I am actually enjoying the run and doing 3 miles non-stop. The side-effect is more peace of mind and less weight.
Now, isn't that pretty cool:)
So, what is EVERYTHING? Let's count them.
First, for the past month I have been working on putting together a design team for the CPS RFP (e-i-e-i-o). I love learning, so this process has been great. With it is comes a 13 workshop series hosted by CPS. It addresses the steps of designing a new school. So, I've been attending the workshops two days per week.
Second, I've been working on completing my Masters Program. This includes two classes per week, lots of writing, (another favorite of mine) and lately a few interviews, networking opportunities and presentations. A load of work is expected of us but, it is completely preparing me for the many tasks that come with designing the school. In 8 weeks I graduate (whew) with an MSNM (Master's of Science in Non-profit Management with a concentration in Fund Raising).
Third, the classes and programs that my children are in are coming to an end but, my husband has just changed his work schedule and pulled back on the amount of kid time he is willing to commit to (specifically time with my nephew, not our kids). That translates into me putting in more time. There is a reason for everything and I have accepted that I have not been truly devoting face time to the kids. This realization has benefited the kids and me. BTW, that same husband (like I have others, who could handle that?) has been hassling me about the time frame in which I plan to be producing an income. He is concerned that I am planning to commit my life to volunteer work (The CPS project is like a school project, 'no pay'). So, again, I know this has a purpose, but right now, his comments simply roll off my back.
So, in the midst of my whirlwind schedule and non-compassionate spouse, I have begun to get comfortable, because I have come to recognize that the schedule and balancing act force me to be present. If I were not present with each project, I would be unable to accomplish any of them. And that is the key to why I am at this stage of my life. In the past, whenever I would ask the Universe to present me with an opportunity, I would ask for multiples. The universe is just, it would send each of my requests at the same time. Time after time, I would get overwhelmed, not by the work itself, but by the anticipation of how difficult it would all become. As a result, the fear I created would choke my efforts and I would accomplish nothing. This time though, I recognize and cherish the need to be present. So, when it is time to be with my kids, I simply tell myself I'm spending time with the kids and I become present in that interaction (that does not include park time, because that has also become about my time to socialize). When I am working on school stuff, it's one class and one project at a time. Some things are late, but all things are focused. When I am working on CPS stuff, I am present in that project too.
The result of my new found presence has somehow translated into extra time. I am eating healthier and enjoying more meals with my family. I am running more frequently and more efficiently. I am actually enjoying the run and doing 3 miles non-stop. The side-effect is more peace of mind and less weight.
Now, isn't that pretty cool:)
Friday, March 21, 2008
A Course in Yielding
"When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence, the unconditioned consciousness which in a state of inner openness you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen." -Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth p. 58)
Since I have started reading "A New Earth", I have been reminded that we do not have to push so hard for things to work out. The things that are "really" right for us, often appear with ease. In fact, those things that are "really" right for us, often will not go away.
I know this to be true, but like many others, I seem to work against it. For instance, 7 years ago, I quit my job and told the Universe I wanted to become a writer. The idea of being a freelance writer would allow me to work and travel the world freely, enjoying life to the fullest. Almost immediately, I found that I was pregnant and the time for writing became less. Simultaneously, my interest in children and education (though always strong) grew more intense. So, on at least 7 different occasions, over the past 7 years, I have asked the Universe, "What should I be doing?" The answer is always "open a school."
The answer has come in a variety of ways starting with parents asking me to open a school, a school director asking me to purchase her school, a church asking me to start a school for them and a state employee actually signing me up for daycare license classes (because she thought I should start a school). Additionally, five years ago, my mom told a Chicago Public School (CPS) worker about my work with children (coaching children on focusing, concentrating and learning). He suggested I consider opening a new Renaissance 2010 school. I did not pursue that opportunity either, but have been watching the progress of the project ever since.
After reading chapter one of "A New Earth," I asked the question again. "What should I be doing?" Within an hour, my brother came by to pick up my nephew. Out of the blue he said, "You should open a daycare."
That evening I got an email from a Professor (who understands that I want to be a writer) suggesting I might look for business opportunities in homeschooling. Since I was planning to attend a homeschooling conference that weekend, I thought his suggestion came with perfect timing. I decided to attend the conference with an open mind about business opportunities.
That weekend, I spoke with one mom-preneur about homeschooling and working. When the topic switched to my plans, I explained that I wanted to be a writer and the Universe wants me to open a school. Her sister joined the conversation to say, "You can be a homeschooler, a writer and own a school at the same time." For me, this was a new and interesting option. Could this actually work?
The fact is, I have about four outlines of imaginary schools that I think are sorely needed in Chicago. They are ideas that are not popular, but they are very feasible. An optimal position for me would be to travel this world learning about more ways to educate children and to give them the options of gaining more than academic insight. Children need room to grow academically and personally at the same time. Though my brain is wrapped around the idea that I must open a school that achieves this lofty goal, I keep thinking that a school will inhibit my ideas of freedom (ego talk).
So, after the conference I said to the Universe, "Okay, if I really understand that I am to open a school, bring me a new opportunity."
Well, last year I wrote a research paper that suggested a great solution for foster care youth could be found in boarding schools. Last week, my school advisor told me that CPS is looking into such an idea. I researched the article http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=19121493 and decided to forward my research paper to a general mailbox at CPS.
Today, I got a phone call from CPS. I have not spoken to them and have no further information other than the fact that they are responding to my email.
Wow!
Reading "A New Earth" has helped me to recognize my resistance on the path of education. I believe, this must be the task I promised to attend to when I agreed to enter this level of consciousness. Tolle tells us to stop resisting; to live consciously and yield. That said, I do not know what will come of my conversation with CPS next week but, I do know that the time has come for me to do my part in educating children.
"If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God." -Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth, p. 58)
And if nothing comes of this opportunity, I will expect the right one to soon come my way.
Since I have started reading "A New Earth", I have been reminded that we do not have to push so hard for things to work out. The things that are "really" right for us, often appear with ease. In fact, those things that are "really" right for us, often will not go away.
I know this to be true, but like many others, I seem to work against it. For instance, 7 years ago, I quit my job and told the Universe I wanted to become a writer. The idea of being a freelance writer would allow me to work and travel the world freely, enjoying life to the fullest. Almost immediately, I found that I was pregnant and the time for writing became less. Simultaneously, my interest in children and education (though always strong) grew more intense. So, on at least 7 different occasions, over the past 7 years, I have asked the Universe, "What should I be doing?" The answer is always "open a school."
The answer has come in a variety of ways starting with parents asking me to open a school, a school director asking me to purchase her school, a church asking me to start a school for them and a state employee actually signing me up for daycare license classes (because she thought I should start a school). Additionally, five years ago, my mom told a Chicago Public School (CPS) worker about my work with children (coaching children on focusing, concentrating and learning). He suggested I consider opening a new Renaissance 2010 school. I did not pursue that opportunity either, but have been watching the progress of the project ever since.
After reading chapter one of "A New Earth," I asked the question again. "What should I be doing?" Within an hour, my brother came by to pick up my nephew. Out of the blue he said, "You should open a daycare."
That evening I got an email from a Professor (who understands that I want to be a writer) suggesting I might look for business opportunities in homeschooling. Since I was planning to attend a homeschooling conference that weekend, I thought his suggestion came with perfect timing. I decided to attend the conference with an open mind about business opportunities.
That weekend, I spoke with one mom-preneur about homeschooling and working. When the topic switched to my plans, I explained that I wanted to be a writer and the Universe wants me to open a school. Her sister joined the conversation to say, "You can be a homeschooler, a writer and own a school at the same time." For me, this was a new and interesting option. Could this actually work?
The fact is, I have about four outlines of imaginary schools that I think are sorely needed in Chicago. They are ideas that are not popular, but they are very feasible. An optimal position for me would be to travel this world learning about more ways to educate children and to give them the options of gaining more than academic insight. Children need room to grow academically and personally at the same time. Though my brain is wrapped around the idea that I must open a school that achieves this lofty goal, I keep thinking that a school will inhibit my ideas of freedom (ego talk).
So, after the conference I said to the Universe, "Okay, if I really understand that I am to open a school, bring me a new opportunity."
Well, last year I wrote a research paper that suggested a great solution for foster care youth could be found in boarding schools. Last week, my school advisor told me that CPS is looking into such an idea. I researched the article http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=19121493 and decided to forward my research paper to a general mailbox at CPS.
Today, I got a phone call from CPS. I have not spoken to them and have no further information other than the fact that they are responding to my email.
Wow!
Reading "A New Earth" has helped me to recognize my resistance on the path of education. I believe, this must be the task I promised to attend to when I agreed to enter this level of consciousness. Tolle tells us to stop resisting; to live consciously and yield. That said, I do not know what will come of my conversation with CPS next week but, I do know that the time has come for me to do my part in educating children.
"If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God." -Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth, p. 58)
And if nothing comes of this opportunity, I will expect the right one to soon come my way.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Keeping a pact
So, I'm doing that Oprah & Eckhart "A New Earth" thing. You know, the webcast on Oprah.com. Okay, maybe you don't know. Anyway, I bought the book when it first came out in 2005 (I think). I tried to read it twice and decided, both times, that I simply was not ready. I was not in a place where awakening would work. I've asked myself what that is all about.
The fact is, over the past 3 years I have been completely lost. I got married and had my second child (after fighting marriage for so long) and then I created a reality that found me lost and at the mercy of confusion (completely different than Confucius). I hid my spirituality and beliefs from my husband and his family, I stopped making time to address the issue of me. I started charging for my Spiritual Coaching sessions and classes and thus, got lost in the financial woes of people paying me my worth, instead of helping them find their way back to bliss.
I've been making my way back slowly and this book is good for me in that manner; helping me to find my landmarks, the ones that lead me back to me.
So, in my current moment of bliss, I want to say, "Thank You," to all the souls that are a part of my life right now. Each of you has played a significant role in my journey back to me. I realize that at the spirit level you all agreed to come into my life when I would need you most and help me get right back on track.
I'm talking about Wini, Kim, Lori, Mr. Cutler, Imani, Stevie, Journey, Justin, Mom, Wanda, Shannon, Amber, Sherri, Stephen and so many more that I cannot begin to name you all. You may not know who you are but, if you are a part of my life in any tiny way, I am talking about you.
I appreciate each of you keeping that pact. It means so much to me.
Yvonnie
The fact is, over the past 3 years I have been completely lost. I got married and had my second child (after fighting marriage for so long) and then I created a reality that found me lost and at the mercy of confusion (completely different than Confucius). I hid my spirituality and beliefs from my husband and his family, I stopped making time to address the issue of me. I started charging for my Spiritual Coaching sessions and classes and thus, got lost in the financial woes of people paying me my worth, instead of helping them find their way back to bliss.
I've been making my way back slowly and this book is good for me in that manner; helping me to find my landmarks, the ones that lead me back to me.
So, in my current moment of bliss, I want to say, "Thank You," to all the souls that are a part of my life right now. Each of you has played a significant role in my journey back to me. I realize that at the spirit level you all agreed to come into my life when I would need you most and help me get right back on track.
I'm talking about Wini, Kim, Lori, Mr. Cutler, Imani, Stevie, Journey, Justin, Mom, Wanda, Shannon, Amber, Sherri, Stephen and so many more that I cannot begin to name you all. You may not know who you are but, if you are a part of my life in any tiny way, I am talking about you.
I appreciate each of you keeping that pact. It means so much to me.
Yvonnie
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Embarrassment
This morning, my husband told me that he had a dream that we went out for dinner. After a few drinks, I decided to join the band for a song; unannounced and uninvited.
As the story would go, in my approach of the stage, I tripped and fell on my bottom. "How embarrassing?" he remarked (in real life). "For you," I asked? "For you, I would think," he responded.
As I laughed, I thought about this for a moment. Would I have been so terribly embarrassed? Truth is, it depends on who was in the room.
What is embarrassment? I have a cousin that gets embarrassed by the strangest things, but manages to put herself in the position to be embarrassed frequently. My children get embarrassed by interesting things, like being told to "not" do something in the presence of others. The key though, in both instances, is the presence of others.
As adults, the rule is the same, someone else must be present. But, why? Why are we embarrassed; as if anyone, that has ever truly "lived", has escaped making some blundering mistake in life? Is there always some beautiful person in our presence that feels so insecure that they must make a spectacle of our mistakes? Or are we simply guilty of being that beautiful person in every instance possible? Or are there young people watching? Sometimes they cannot control their giggles. Other times, its their insecurities too that make them make spectacles of other people's mistakes.
Regardless, the laughter you provide others could be considered a great gift if you can find it in you to laugh out loud too. In balance and bliss, that is an accessible solution.
I have another cousin that used to be so amazing in this category. If you fell, she would first make certain you were okay then, she would look you directly in the eye and laugh. The look she would give you, would leave you laughing uncontrollably; so much so, you could not be embarrassed, nor could you muster the energy to stand erect again for another 10 minutes (a sure fire way for everyone to know that you fell). These days, she gets embarrassed too.
Why are we so serious and without the power of "laughing out loud at ourselves?" Why has embarrassment taken a front seat in our lives? Where is our balance & bliss?
Well, I am still laughing at my husband's dream. I wonder if it would have been funny in real life. Could I have laughed at myself? Furthermore, who would have been the kid or beautiful person in the room that made a spectacle of me?
Probably, my husband.
As the story would go, in my approach of the stage, I tripped and fell on my bottom. "How embarrassing?" he remarked (in real life). "For you," I asked? "For you, I would think," he responded.
As I laughed, I thought about this for a moment. Would I have been so terribly embarrassed? Truth is, it depends on who was in the room.
What is embarrassment? I have a cousin that gets embarrassed by the strangest things, but manages to put herself in the position to be embarrassed frequently. My children get embarrassed by interesting things, like being told to "not" do something in the presence of others. The key though, in both instances, is the presence of others.
As adults, the rule is the same, someone else must be present. But, why? Why are we embarrassed; as if anyone, that has ever truly "lived", has escaped making some blundering mistake in life? Is there always some beautiful person in our presence that feels so insecure that they must make a spectacle of our mistakes? Or are we simply guilty of being that beautiful person in every instance possible? Or are there young people watching? Sometimes they cannot control their giggles. Other times, its their insecurities too that make them make spectacles of other people's mistakes.
Regardless, the laughter you provide others could be considered a great gift if you can find it in you to laugh out loud too. In balance and bliss, that is an accessible solution.
I have another cousin that used to be so amazing in this category. If you fell, she would first make certain you were okay then, she would look you directly in the eye and laugh. The look she would give you, would leave you laughing uncontrollably; so much so, you could not be embarrassed, nor could you muster the energy to stand erect again for another 10 minutes (a sure fire way for everyone to know that you fell). These days, she gets embarrassed too.
Why are we so serious and without the power of "laughing out loud at ourselves?" Why has embarrassment taken a front seat in our lives? Where is our balance & bliss?
Well, I am still laughing at my husband's dream. I wonder if it would have been funny in real life. Could I have laughed at myself? Furthermore, who would have been the kid or beautiful person in the room that made a spectacle of me?
Probably, my husband.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Pondering Thank You
I believe that we are all connected and together we gather at a certain time (in spirit) to review the heart of everyone's desires. Then, we connect people and moments in time & spaces to provide opportunities for each of us to make our desires a truth. Why would we do this? Because, at our center, we truly desire the best for each other.
So, last night, before bed, I said "Thank You," to The Universe. That is, I said "Thank You," to you.
My night's rest was so peaceful that I woke up and said "thanks for a good night's sleep and the day ahead of me. " I visually created a blissful morning by seeing myself calm and happy. Then, I said to The Universe, "This is my heart's desire."
Alone at last. Could this be every mom's secret desire (a moment of peace and happiness, with sleeping babies and husbands that run errands)? I smile, check my emails, take a shower, plan my day and begin reading a book over a cup of tea.
Two hours later, I realize I need to get dressed and awaken my 3 year old for ballet. Journey, the perfect ballerina, fairy, princess toddler, would never intentionally miss ballet. So, it is no surprise that just as I enter her room, she awakens with a smile. Getting her dressed is no problem, she fully cooperates (after all, it is ballet). She's dressed and her hair is combed in record timing. We go downstairs to gather morning fruit & granola to take along for the ride. Then, we begin to put on our outerwear.
My husband rushes in, ten minutes beyond the time we agreed upon, (to ensure a punctual arrival at ballet). "The roads are fierce," he exclaims. "People are sliding everywhere and I witnessed two accidents. In fact, I just missed being a part of one of them. So, be careful." "Okay, " is all I can say. "Gosh, I feel awfully calm," is what I am thinking.
The car is clean and as it turns out, I experience nothing but perfectly shoveled and salted streets. My daughter and I arrive with time to spare and secure a perfect parking space. Today, somehow, I thought to dress her in a manner that was warm and extremely easy to undo for class (I'm never this good), so she's ready before time. I discover she has left her ballet slippers somewhere and immediately one of the other ballet moms offers to watch her while I go back to the car to search. They are exactly where they should be (on any other day, my husband would have removed them when he cleaned out the car).
Journey's in class, happy and fully immersed in a world of ballet & girly stuff. So, I decide to take a leisurely, wintery walk to the Starbucks, just two blocks away. The barista informs me that the espresso machines are down so, he gives me a free cup of coffee and a coupon for a free cup of anything at my next visit to any Starbucks. The coffee is yum.
I get back in time to chat with a few parents and read a chapter of Eat, Pray, Love (If you own this book, you know that the chapters are super short; perfect for homeschooling moms that are constantly being interrupted by children that are afraid their mother is reading something that separates her from their world).
When class is over Journey cooperates again. We play in the snow and get in the car and return home warm and safe.
So, I've come to the end of a perfect morning. Perfect in every way. Is it just my perception or is it just because I said "Thank You."
Friday, January 25, 2008
Beginnings
For the longest time, I've been trying to figure out what I should blog about.
I am a homeschooling mom and have been reading a few blogs written by other homeschooling moms. I love the ones that are written with humor and tips. They are witty and make the job of homeschooling more enlightening and enjoyable.
I am a business communicator (new wording for "writer") & strategic planner for the non-profit sector. I could blog about my business experiences or about the non-profit sector but, that might be boring. Besides, I should save the technical stuff for my business website.
The purpose of this blog is to give me a creative outlet that gets me writing and hopefully attracts an audience that enjoys my style of writing (as well as, wants to read what I have to say). So, what do I write about? Oh! My aha moments, my analytical moments and my moments of intuition. These are the things that my most thorough internal communications are made of. Maybe those reading my blogs might even ask questions that give me something to ponder & write about. How exciting is that?!
Well, let's get started. I hope you like it. Maybe I can find a book in here somewhere.
Yvonnie
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