Yvonnie's Scribble

New Experiences

2011-02-18T18:55:00.000-06:00

This is an amazing time in my life. I am manifesting great things. I am organizing and consulting again. I am hosting and planning. I am spending more time with my family and loving it. And, I am the new Inspiration Editor-in-Training for Bellaonline, the 2nd most popular women's content site in the world.

I love this site as it is full of free information, written by women simply willing to share & learn. As writers we are not getting paid, but the Universe is infinite in its return on good deeds. For my efforts I receive free training and I am gaining confidence in my ability to share intuitive knowledge with the world once again. I love everything this site stands for and am proud to be a contributing Editor.

Be certain to pop in and find a channel that speaks to you. You can find my articles at http://www.bellaonline.com/site/inspiration.

The Happiest People in the World

2011-01-21T23:13:00.003-06:00

Ready to travel the world. Legatum has finally released its 2010 Prosperity Index, ranking the happiest nation of 110. And the winners are:

1) Norway
2) Denmark
3)Finland
4) Australia
5) New Zealand
6) Sweden
7) Canada
8) Switzerland
9) Netherlands
10) U.S.

I don't know about you, but I look forward to visiting the happy hot spots. Happy Trails!

Nutrition & Weight Loss

2011-01-20T18:37:00.005-06:00

There are so many layers to wholistic living. When I was a life coach, I asked people to address their health, spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally & financially. This meant surveying their feelings about their relationships, activity levels, hobbies, diet, and more. In asking myself the same questions, I realized that my family has a lot of work to do to get to a more wholistic life. But, where to start?

As soon as I asked myself the question, friends started calling and emailing & facebooking about Journey. Often the conversation would end with me mentioning our need to detox & eat better. I looked at my book collection and noticed that I had purchased several nutrition books over the past 5 years. In addition, many of my friends have recently sent or loaned me books on nutrition. So, as you can see, nutrition has been on my back log radar for awhile. Well, now I am addressing it within my home.

This summer I did the Candida Diet http://www.thecandidadiet.com/ because Riley & I had yeast (in babies this is called thrush). It was a great success. I never cheated & our symptoms were almost completely cleared and I loss 28lbs to boot (I have since gained 8 of it back). This season I decided to do it again to make sure we were free and clear after the holidays. At the same time, my husband's family decided to start The Standard Process Purification Diet. Yippee!!! My husband eats only starches & meat. This is the 1st time that he has attempted to do the right thing nutritionally. So, I took advantage of the moment and decided to start a sugar detox for the girls. On day one, my husband gave them peppermint candy (go figure). On day 4 he gave them pizza & lemonade. So, okay. I get it, this lifestyle change is going to take a lot more effort & time.

While my efforts at the Candida Diet have been extremely cleansing for Riley, I have managed to cheat all 5 days. I have completed 2 of my 4 colonics & lost 6lbs. but, I know I can do better with this. So, I've spoken to my colonic therapist and thought about what has made me cheat (mostly, trying to detox the kids at the same time) and decided to take option 3 of the cleansing process along with my last 2 colonics. So, I've got 2 more weeks of cleansing before I can get to the next phase of the diet.

The overall goal is to take my household to a whole foods lifestyle. I want to rid our household of processed foods. If we eat junk when we are away from home, that is fine, because we eat properly at home (like the French), which is where we will eat most of the time. Well, the blood sugar imbalances are out of control and driving me bonkers. There is a lot of yelling, whining, crying, nursing, pooping & silent cussing going on. The combination makes it almost impossible to stick with my responsibilities and diet. Furthermore, I have never been good at keeping with a cleanse for weight loss purposes and I've gotten sidetracked with that this time. I have to remember the goal, "A Whole Food Lifestyle".

So, we forge ahead. We will eventually get there. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Lessons in Life

2011-01-08T09:45:00.004-06:00

It's been too long since my last blog; almost a month now. I found Facebook & got caught up in that whirlwind.

Medically, Journey is fine. We are headed to the Mayo Clinic, 1st week of March. We have requested special cell-magnesium tests to determine if Journey's electrolytes are the culprit of her illness. I'm holding back on unconventional healing methods until all of the test results are in (it's very difficult). I hope our sugar detox does not effect the tests (of course it will).

Over the past few months, I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned that I need a healthy balance of social grouping & personal time, to keep myself spiritually balanced. I've learned that I am not very good with 'needy' relationships (which explains the numerous boyfriends I dumped in my younger years). With daily meditations, affirmations, positive attitude and constant gratitude, I can manage needy from my kids, but needy friendships are simply not possible.

I'm paying closer attention to the needs of my family again. We are doing more family game nights. We are reading together. We are doing more art & writing our own books. We are gearing up for an all-inclusive (meaning every family member including Riley) sugar detox. We are also testing out different ideas, such as, schedules & lists to complete (cleanup, brushing teeth b4 bed, 3 veggies, 2 fruits, bath time, grace time, 4 glasses of water, etc). We are exploring learning together again, researching every answer under the sun. It's been great fun & feels more like home.

What I have noticed is that it is easy to get sidetracked by those that 'mean well'. When we allow too many outside influences to peer into our world, we slip in & out of consciousness, we forget our goals; our intentions. Still, our household is moving speedily towards healthy, functioning, respect, consideration, learning & fun. Sure, we were good before, but maybe not good enough to manage our overall health.

This week, we face the task of saying "Goodbye" to a family we've wanted to label as "friends". Despite all of the Universal warnings I have received, I have managed to talk myself out of making the move. Finally, I have admitted that this relationship is simply not healthy for my family (not for any single one of us & not for us as a unit); and as the Universe always works, it is not healthy for the other family either. This is one of the bigger moves we are having to make to improve our family's health.

We have started our goal lists. Each family member listing the things that we absolutely plan to do in this lifetime. Our 1st move will be purchasing a new van so that we can start hitting the road. And now, as a team, we are working on our family mission statement, our philosophy of sorts. Hope to share it w/you soon.

The Journey

2010-12-13T09:29:00.002-06:00

Jo Jo woke up at about 9am, November 18, 2010, exactly one week before Thanksgiving. She laid on the floor & called for me. When I asked her what was wrong she said, “my heart usually beats like this (tapping the rhythm out for me on our dark wood floors), but now it is like this (tapping louder and faster).” “What does that mean Journey, “ I asked? “Well,” she said, “it means it is beating harder and faster than normal.” “Can you come downstairs with me,” I asked? “No. I don’t think so,” she responded. Being the middle child, she tends to be very dramatic and overly ravenous for attention. So, I carried her downstairs wondering if this was real. “Harder and faster,” I asked, as I lay her on the loveseat, intended for family gatherings and conversations? “Can you put my hand there?” She placed my hand over her heart, it was faster and thumping, like she had just been running. “Mommy,” she said, “it also hurts.”

November 19th, Journey was diagnosed with LQTS, Long QT Syndrome. That means her heart squeezes/pumps just as it should, but it does not relax exactly as it should. Her best case scenario is living with it. Her worst case scenario is sudden death. She is currently taking Beta Blockers (in my opinion, it's just to make everyone feel that they have done something to stop the "bleeding").

So, we start our Journey...

I am a firm believer that illness is a result of emotional distress. For instance, my Journey is an amazingly loving character. She is very passionate & sensitive. While we have worked hard to make certain that she has great moments, she lingers or concentrates on the more difficult moments. Moreover, she can take the best moment & turn it into a moment of difficulty & challenge. In other words, she does not "let go"/relax well.

I believe that if you add emotional distress + diet mishaps + lack of exercise you should be able to conjure up a good batch of dis-ease.

I am not an advocate for pharmaceutical drugs. That said, I do believe that they can serve as a perfect bandage (in the ambulance of life) on your way to the cure. So, it is my mission to get Journey off of the Beta Blockers and on to a cure.

My mission, is to address the whole cure:

Its been a little less than 4 weeks since Journey was diagnosed. What have we changed?

I have slowed life down & paid more attention to what my children need.

1) Journey is an artist by nature. So, there is a lot more art going on now. She listens to music as a comfort & we are enrolling her in more performing arts classes for this winter.

2) I have begun to feed the girls differently. After talking to a good friend, I think I have been under nourishing my girls & myself. So, now, I put out healthy snacks every 2-3 hours & prepare one full meal that we can enjoy together each evening. I have noted that LQTS is linked to a potassium issue (still needing clarity on this) and Journey gets frequent muscle cramps. So, even though the doctors said she has normal potassium levels, I have amped up her potassium intake.

3) Every night, the girls & I sit in a circle & we tell the Universe what we are grateful for. It has lightened Journey's daily moments of drama & disdain.

4) We have each started dream journals. While, I have no intention of losing any of my girls, I recognize that the decision is not mine. So, if that were to happen, I would not like for any of them to leave this earth not having accomplished anything that they truly wanted to accomplish. I know the power of intentions. I know what dream journals, affirmations, visualization and intention can create. So, I am starting my girls on that educational track now. If I lose a little girl, I want to know that I did my part in assisting her to create & leave her mark on this earth before departure.

5) Finally, I have come to realize that I cannot do any of these things without taking care of me. So, I have started pulling myself together as well; focusing on my health, my dreams, my personality traits & deciding what my needs are. I have begun to gather all of this and create for me too. I am standing my ground and moving forward positively.

This is our journey w/Journey. It is our journey towards The Whole Cure & we are planning to learn all the way to self-realization. I hope it helps you, I hope it touches everyone that reads it and I hope billions understand the cause & join in.

A.C.E. ing Life

2009-03-29T11:12:00.003-05:00

Spiritually, I am a mixed bag of tricks. I believe that within each of us is God & that God is like a star, a "spirit star" residing within a vessel we have chosen, in order to appear human while we reside in this dimension of life. Also, within this vessel is a seed, the ego. Whenever our "spirit star", which is pure love & energy, is lost, the ego begins to power up. The further we get from our truth, the stronger the ego gets. As a whole, we are God, the spirit that makes the Universe all that it is. Collectively, our "spirit stars" link to this powerful, beautiful force & energy that is all love & peace. As a council we convene & decide how to make all things happen with purpose; that is, to attend to the needs & lessens of each of our lives. It is our state of being that determines the fate of the earth. If we are collectively at war within ourselves, our earth will suffer that war outwardly. If we are collectively moving toward peace & love, our earth will show signs of moving toward peace & love.

Before we are born we make the choice to come here. Our motives are to help our loved ones on their spiritual quest. In my early 20's, I understood this & was baffled as to why I would have chosen to come to this earth. My life was balanced, but I did not like what I was experiencing in Corporate America; the greed, disregard & complication residing there. I managed by going to Alpha in the middle of each day. Still, I wondered, why do we choose to come here & I vowed that if reincarnation were a possibility, I would not like to return again. Now, I understand how easy it must be to see a loved one so close to the truth or so, absolutely far away from it, that we feel we must come here to assist them.

We are born all peace, love & pure energy. As we grow, the humans around us train us to be "acceptable humans", instead of "balanced beings". As a result, we begin to forget why we came here & spend the rest of our lives searching for the mission or purpose.

For many years, I maintained my connection with my spiritual childhood. I remembered my experiences of using moments of Alpha to find solutions in life. I remember using this state of being to truly understand the needs of others & how to relate to them & communicate with them & forgive them for the mean things they did. As I grew older, there were times when I slipped into the idea of "acceptable human" forgetting about "balanced being" but, for the most part, I maintained. Then, I married my husband. He & I dated on & off for 15 years before I could say "I do". The challenge was always about his respect & acceptance of my spiritual beliefs. To this date, I do not think that I have admitted that "out loud" to him. What is worst is that, with marriage, I buried my spirituality to make him & his family comfortable.

Even as I developed my career as a Life Coach & Meditation Instructor, my husband ridiculed my beliefs. I have allowed this to keep me from admitting how important my spiritual beliefs are to my existence. In the process, I have gained weight & become removed from who I truly am. I have disengaged myself from certain enjoyment of life & my ego has grown tremendously. Meanwhile, I watch shows like Ghost Whisperer & Medium, envious of the television husbands these women have & how supportive they are of their wives' gifts & beliefs.

Thank God for my children. Each of them has challenged me to stop hiding my spiritual beliefs or truths (because what you believe is your truth) in their own way. Stevie, my oldest, asks many thought provoking spiritual questions; the ones that make you remember where you really stand on the spiritual front. Once you answer her questions, you realize exactly what you must do in order to be true to yourself, to your spirit. She likes the energy of the invisible universe. She reads my mind & is quite gifted academically. I think she still knows why she came here & enjoys carrying out her mission. Journey, my 4.5 year old, enjoys creating an environment that forces me to dive into my spiritual realm of existence, outwardly. If I go to Alpha everyday, she & I get along like 2 peas in a pod. If I begin to stray, she becomes wicked, stirring up the very core of stress & disarray that can push a person over the edge. Amazingly, with all of her tantrums & wicked whining, at every physical, she is the most amazingly efficient human. She has the blood pressure of a perfect marathon runner & any virus that manages to get inside of her has only 24 hours, maximum, to live. Riley, due to grace us with her physical presence in early May, simply stirs me. Her spirit awakens my spirit & creates a craving or longing for inner peace. Because of her, I have returned to an old life of what I call A.C.E..

A.C.E. stands for Alpha, Cleansing & Exercise. Alpha is a state of mind where the brain waves slow down and we experience peace & balance. In Alpha the brain is creative & resourceful, able to create solutions to most anything we are pondering. Alpha is a state of meditation or hypnosis. It can occur when you are driving, walking, reading, knitting, or resting. Children naturally enjoy a state of Alpha by daydreaming. When a human being encounters moments of Alpha on a daily basis they simply become a more creative, balanced, joyful, loving & peaceful being. To cleanse is to release toxins; we do this by eating raw & natural foods, getting a massage, or sitting in a sauna. Exercise is simply exercise. Daily A.C.E. provides me with strong life force. It allows me peace & balance spiritually & it allows me maintenance of the vessel I chose for this life.

It feels great! I am back on track with my personal & career goals. Amazing how the IRS had put my 501(c)3 on hold while I groped around in the dark for awhile & how my return to A.C.E. coincides with the IRS addressing my request again. Also, when in Alpha, I have began to communicate with my husband. As a result, in the normal realm of life, my marriage seems stronger.

So, I have finally come out of the closet. Spiritually, my secret is out in cyberspace, open for the world to read and my posts will probably be more connected to this. Meanwhile, I will eventually have to outwardly discuss this with my husband. I think this also means I can stop having children (as much as I love them) & simply address the issue at hand; being true to my spirit & continuing my spiritual growth. I know my girls will continue to assist me every step of the way, not letting up until I am instinctively managing things. So, I'll keep you posted on my progress.

The News

2009-01-26T01:37:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since my last post. I thought I would post at least once a month. Then, the Universe threw a new monkey wrench into my life...I'm pregnant. Yes, that's right, a third child; through me, a woman who swore the shop was closed. In fact, I'm not just pregnant, I'm very pregnant; due in May.

After my last blog, I simply found myself exhausted all of the time. I thought I was dehydrating so, I began drinking a lot more water. That found me in the bathroom more. Then, I began losing weight. Finally, an older Italian man kept following me around Costco, telling me how beautiful I looked. Let me tell you, this was one of my not so good days; I was exhausted & in my opinion it showed. That said, my stalker was the last straw, I purchased a pregnancy test immediately after leaving Costco.

Nothing like 9 months of pregnancy to make you think about the life you are living. This third spiritual gift has once again given me a new angle of reflection. I've been more involved in volunteering and keeping the girls busy. She is apparently an organization freak; I can't stop cooking & cleaning. I've crocheted lots of beautiful items and I'm creating clothing for the girls & I. I've explained to my husband the importance of me having my space (I'll give more details later). And I have added distance between myself & many others.

I actually enjoy pregnancy. It is a kind state of being for me. With Journey I was not as attractive as I was with Stevie & have been with this one. Still, I did not have the physical challenges that many women have. In fact, I often forget that I am pregnant.

The ultrasound says it will be another girl. We are thinking to name her Chloe Sinclair or Reilly Sinclair. There is much planning needed but, I am a bit laxed about that.

The only thing I know is there exists this strange feeling that this baby intends on being born at home.

A Fresh Start

2008-08-26T18:27:00.004-05:00

So, after CPS decided that we needed a few more things before we were ready to open a school, I decided to take some time to truly assess my life and what I wanted. After two months, I came to the conclusion that I needed a new start towards a more fulfilling life. My personal mission statement reads: TO UTILIZE MY CREATIVE ENERGY, MY INTUITIVE WISDOM AND MY COMPREHENSION THROUGH WRITING, TRAVELING AND ORGANIZING IN AN EFFORT TO SEE THE WORLD FROM A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE, BALANCE & BLISS (for me this is self-actualization).

My mission statement, also happens to be one of my top 4 life priorities: Health, Family, Mission, & Wealth (spiritual & financial).

That said, I decided to restructure to make sure that I am attending to the things that are top priority to me. I certainly recognize some stagnation in all areas and am now cleansing for renewal. The cleansing means fasting; and while it is good mentally, spiritually, physically & emotionally, I've been hungry (first time ever).

I just started today and have faltered already (I drank hot chocolate). Additionally, I am aware that tomorrow I have an engagement that I can allow to challenge me or I can simply start anew the day after.

Hmm, what would you do?

Well, I'll keep you posted.

Yvonnie

Which candidate are you really in synch with?

2008-05-31T09:33:00.002-05:00

Think you know which candidate your values match up with? Are you really able to dodge the seductive dance of race and gender? Try this link http://www.dag.nl/Nieuws/kieskompas.htm. Here you can answer about 25 questions and get results on where you stand with presidential hopefuls. This scoring helps to eliminate those hidden biases of appearance that we coddle.

And may the best candidate win!?

What if everyone knew everyone?

2008-05-26T16:58:00.010-05:00

"What if everyone in the world knew, everyone else in the world," my 6 year old asked me?

"What an interesting concept," I thought to myself. So, I asked a dear friend what he thought. "Well, life would be pretty boring if there were no new people to meet," he suggested.

"Hmm. Not exactly," I responded. In fact, in my mind, meeting new people is not always the point that is exciting. Hearing new stories and ideas are what is thrilling, right? I mean, if you are away from your children or spouse or best friend for a few days, talking to them about the things they have experienced over the past few days is what is enjoyable, right?

When Stevie asked me the question, the first thing I thought was, "then, no one could steal or harm others in secret." Think about it, instead of stealing, you would simply be forced to ask for what you need, because everyone knows you; there's no getting away with it.

I like the idea because now, when I speak to strangers (a habit passed to me from my mom), some of them hesitate or act as if I am not speaking to them. If they were not exactly strangers, wouldn't they, more than likely, speak back?

If we all knew each other wouldn't we be more prone to assist others and wouldn't we pay closer attention to the signs of someone in trouble?

If everyone knew everyone we might have less awe over movie stars and professional athletes. You would realize that they too are working to earn a living.

If everyone knew everyone, maybe everyone could get a job that they truly enjoyed; doing something they always wanted to do.

If everyone knew everyone there might be less corruption in politics. Think about it, not only would you know Hilary, John and Barack, but with a few phone calls, you could possibly know what their presidential agenda was. In fact, if everyone knew everyone, maybe no one would have voted for Bush.

If everyone knew everyone there might be less racism, sexism and class-ism.

If everyone knew everyone there might be fewer violent crimes and maybe there would be no war.

"What if everyone in the world knew, everyone else in the world?" I love this question. It is the question of a naive 6-year-old yet, I feel it is a brilliant concept. I would love for everyone to know everyone. But, maybe I am missing something. Maybe there would be something wrong with knowing everyone.

What do you think? If everyone knew everyone... What do you think that would mean?

Polygamy

2008-04-24T23:19:00.003-05:00

So, I keep hearing about these people that have been busted for committing polygamy. What is so wrong with polygamy? Well, before you answer and please know that I welcome all comments, I'd like to take this time to give you something to think about.

I believe that most men marry so that they can secure that the woman they love, at this time, will make and or accept fewer opportunities for having sex with others. Once we begin to have children and sex lessens (in most marriages) his interest begins to wander (more than likely it was wandering before, but arriving home to a young, sexy and vigorous wife helped to keep that in check). He is horny and we are tired from caring for the kids, possibly working a job and maintaining the home in the same capacity we did before the kids and even if we are thinking about it, the time for foreplay is limited. Many of us are uncertain why sex is less appealing at this point, but we are easily offended when he complains. The perfect gift for us would be a free sitter, an occasional massage, a night out, and a satisfied husband. Add to that a nearby girlfriend whom we can share with, whose kids can play well with ours and who loves to swap responsibilities. Well, at this point many of us think heaven has just opened its gates.

Well, that's what I think polygamy must be like. I am thinking, hey she watches the kids sometimes, just like I watch hers. She watches them while I get a massage and while I enjoy a night out, with or without the husband. The husband is certainly satisfied because he has two or more to switch off with (I am most likely not up for it every night). I've got built in girlfriends that I can talk to and whom I have the best play dates with. We switch off responsibilities like taking the kids to activities, or cooking or grocery shopping. I hope they want to homeschool or unschool as it is.

Maybe I am being naive. In my mind, just because the relationship is polygamist does not mean that I am being controlled by someone else. To me, it means that I have more control of the things I want to do. I can date other men and not feel so guilty. I can pursue the sort of career I'd like. I can hit the road with my kids whenever I desire. There are so many things I could do undetected. And the cherry on top of the cake is that there would be no pretending that he is not seeing someone else; he'd actually have permission because I thought it through and said yes for the above reasons.

I'll bet, the main reasons why anyone of you would not agree to polygamy are based on issues of possession and/or societal norms. We do not own our spouses. We cannot control or know what they do when they are not with us whether we are polygamist or not. And what is the benefit of being able to say "he is with me only." Not being able to say this makes us worry that others will look at us in a negative way. What if that were no longer an issue? Jealousy, is that an issue? What is there to be jealous of if another woman is doing something that I have thought through and decided I simply cannot comply to; I mean I just do not want to?

So, by now you are laughing out loud or thinking I am crazed. And I cannot tell you which is the case. I am not for or against polygamy. I simply like to ask myself "what is the issue here?" Why does everyone care what the other is doing? How does it affect me? I wish I could say I never judge others. I do judge, but when I hear myself, I begin to ask myself "why?"

How can we teach our children not to judge if we never question ourselves about that action?

So, during a recent conversation on polygamy, my classmates informed me that many of the children of these relationships suffer sexual abuse. I do not know what many is, as there were no statistics exchanged. Meanwhile, I am 100% against sexual abuse of any sort. And I must say that sexual abuse is not a side effect of polygamy, that is a side-effect of not communicating and not addressing this issue head on in society without shame (not the abused person's shame, but the shame of a nation that pretends it is not as big an issue as it is). We all want to categorize these instances so that we can distance ourselves from them. In the polygamist relationships, where the children were being molested, I am willing to bet that even if the man had only one wife, he would have the same intentions and actions with his children and the woman would probably have the same response.

All seriousness aside, in a polygamist relationship I think I might just get the long end of the stick. I'll bet you're thinking about it now too. Hmm?

Disclosure:
This blog entry does not represent any aspect of my home relationship or my husband's character (lol).

Presence in the midst of a whirlwind

2008-04-24T21:50:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile; approximately one entire month (as my 6 year old would put it). So, what's been going on? EVERYTHING and I've learned to appreciate that. I accept that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this point in my life (A New Earth) and having the exact experiences that I am supposed to be having. With that, I am enjoying some pretty cool side effects.

So, what is EVERYTHING? Let's count them.

First, for the past month I have been working on putting together a design team for the CPS RFP (e-i-e-i-o). I love learning, so this process has been great. With it is comes a 13 workshop series hosted by CPS. It addresses the steps of designing a new school. So, I've been attending the workshops two days per week.

Second, I've been working on completing my Masters Program. This includes two classes per week, lots of writing, (another favorite of mine) and lately a few interviews, networking opportunities and presentations. A load of work is expected of us but, it is completely preparing me for the many tasks that come with designing the school. In 8 weeks I graduate (whew) with an MSNM (Master's of Science in Non-profit Management with a concentration in Fund Raising).

Third, the classes and programs that my children are in are coming to an end but, my husband has just changed his work schedule and pulled back on the amount of kid time he is willing to commit to (specifically time with my nephew, not our kids). That translates into me putting in more time. There is a reason for everything and I have accepted that I have not been truly devoting face time to the kids. This realization has benefited the kids and me. BTW, that same husband (like I have others, who could handle that?) has been hassling me about the time frame in which I plan to be producing an income. He is concerned that I am planning to commit my life to volunteer work (The CPS project is like a school project, 'no pay'). So, again, I know this has a purpose, but right now, his comments simply roll off my back.

So, in the midst of my whirlwind schedule and non-compassionate spouse, I have begun to get comfortable, because I have come to recognize that the schedule and balancing act force me to be present. If I were not present with each project, I would be unable to accomplish any of them. And that is the key to why I am at this stage of my life. In the past, whenever I would ask the Universe to present me with an opportunity, I would ask for multiples. The universe is just, it would send each of my requests at the same time. Time after time, I would get overwhelmed, not by the work itself, but by the anticipation of how difficult it would all become. As a result, the fear I created would choke my efforts and I would accomplish nothing. This time though, I recognize and cherish the need to be present. So, when it is time to be with my kids, I simply tell myself I'm spending time with the kids and I become present in that interaction (that does not include park time, because that has also become about my time to socialize). When I am working on school stuff, it's one class and one project at a time. Some things are late, but all things are focused. When I am working on CPS stuff, I am present in that project too.

The result of my new found presence has somehow translated into extra time. I am eating healthier and enjoying more meals with my family. I am running more frequently and more efficiently. I am actually enjoying the run and doing 3 miles non-stop. The side-effect is more peace of mind and less weight.

Now, isn't that pretty cool:)

A Course in Yielding

2008-03-21T18:12:00.006-05:00

"When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence, the unconditioned consciousness which in a state of inner openness you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen." -Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth p. 58)

Since I have started reading "A New Earth", I have been reminded that we do not have to push so hard for things to work out. The things that are "really" right for us, often appear with ease. In fact, those things that are "really" right for us, often will not go away.

I know this to be true, but like many others, I seem to work against it. For instance, 7 years ago, I quit my job and told the Universe I wanted to become a writer. The idea of being a freelance writer would allow me to work and travel the world freely, enjoying life to the fullest. Almost immediately, I found that I was pregnant and the time for writing became less. Simultaneously, my interest in children and education (though always strong) grew more intense. So, on at least 7 different occasions, over the past 7 years, I have asked the Universe, "What should I be doing?" The answer is always "open a school."

The answer has come in a variety of ways starting with parents asking me to open a school, a school director asking me to purchase her school, a church asking me to start a school for them and a state employee actually signing me up for daycare license classes (because she thought I should start a school). Additionally, five years ago, my mom told a Chicago Public School (CPS) worker about my work with children (coaching children on focusing, concentrating and learning). He suggested I consider opening a new Renaissance 2010 school. I did not pursue that opportunity either, but have been watching the progress of the project ever since.

After reading chapter one of "A New Earth," I asked the question again. "What should I be doing?" Within an hour, my brother came by to pick up my nephew. Out of the blue he said, "You should open a daycare."

That evening I got an email from a Professor (who understands that I want to be a writer) suggesting I might look for business opportunities in homeschooling. Since I was planning to attend a homeschooling conference that weekend, I thought his suggestion came with perfect timing. I decided to attend the conference with an open mind about business opportunities.

That weekend, I spoke with one mom-preneur about homeschooling and working. When the topic switched to my plans, I explained that I wanted to be a writer and the Universe wants me to open a school. Her sister joined the conversation to say, "You can be a homeschooler, a writer and own a school at the same time." For me, this was a new and interesting option. Could this actually work?

The fact is, I have about four outlines of imaginary schools that I think are sorely needed in Chicago. They are ideas that are not popular, but they are very feasible. An optimal position for me would be to travel this world learning about more ways to educate children and to give them the options of gaining more than academic insight. Children need room to grow academically and personally at the same time. Though my brain is wrapped around the idea that I must open a school that achieves this lofty goal, I keep thinking that a school will inhibit my ideas of freedom (ego talk).

So, after the conference I said to the Universe, "Okay, if I really understand that I am to open a school, bring me a new opportunity."

Well, last year I wrote a research paper that suggested a great solution for foster care youth could be found in boarding schools. Last week, my school advisor told me that CPS is looking into such an idea. I researched the article http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=19121493 and decided to forward my research paper to a general mailbox at CPS.

Today, I got a phone call from CPS. I have not spoken to them and have no further information other than the fact that they are responding to my email.

Wow!

Reading "A New Earth" has helped me to recognize my resistance on the path of education. I believe, this must be the task I promised to attend to when I agreed to enter this level of consciousness. Tolle tells us to stop resisting; to live consciously and yield. That said, I do not know what will come of my conversation with CPS next week but, I do know that the time has come for me to do my part in educating children.

"If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God." -Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth, p. 58)

And if nothing comes of this opportunity, I will expect the right one to soon come my way.

Keeping a pact

2008-03-18T23:20:00.003-05:00

So, I'm doing that Oprah & Eckhart "A New Earth" thing. You know, the webcast on Oprah.com. Okay, maybe you don't know. Anyway, I bought the book when it first came out in 2005 (I think). I tried to read it twice and decided, both times, that I simply was not ready. I was not in a place where awakening would work. I've asked myself what that is all about.

The fact is, over the past 3 years I have been completely lost. I got married and had my second child (after fighting marriage for so long) and then I created a reality that found me lost and at the mercy of confusion (completely different than Confucius). I hid my spirituality and beliefs from my husband and his family, I stopped making time to address the issue of me. I started charging for my Spiritual Coaching sessions and classes and thus, got lost in the financial woes of people paying me my worth, instead of helping them find their way back to bliss.

I've been making my way back slowly and this book is good for me in that manner; helping me to find my landmarks, the ones that lead me back to me.

So, in my current moment of bliss, I want to say, "Thank You," to all the souls that are a part of my life right now. Each of you has played a significant role in my journey back to me. I realize that at the spirit level you all agreed to come into my life when I would need you most and help me get right back on track.

I'm talking about Wini, Kim, Lori, Mr. Cutler, Imani, Stevie, Journey, Justin, Mom, Wanda, Shannon, Amber, Sherri, Stephen and so many more that I cannot begin to name you all. You may not know who you are but, if you are a part of my life in any tiny way, I am talking about you.

I appreciate each of you keeping that pact. It means so much to me.

Yvonnie

Embarrassment

2008-02-05T22:40:00.000-06:00

This morning, my husband told me that he had a dream that we went out for dinner. After a few drinks, I decided to join the band for a song; unannounced and uninvited.

As the story would go, in my approach of the stage, I tripped and fell on my bottom. "How embarrassing?" he remarked (in real life). "For you," I asked? "For you, I would think," he responded.

As I laughed, I thought about this for a moment. Would I have been so terribly embarrassed? Truth is, it depends on who was in the room.

What is embarrassment? I have a cousin that gets embarrassed by the strangest things, but manages to put herself in the position to be embarrassed frequently. My children get embarrassed by interesting things, like being told to "not" do something in the presence of others. The key though, in both instances, is the presence of others.

As adults, the rule is the same, someone else must be present. But, why? Why are we embarrassed; as if anyone, that has ever truly "lived", has escaped making some blundering mistake in life? Is there always some beautiful person in our presence that feels so insecure that they must make a spectacle of our mistakes? Or are we simply guilty of being that beautiful person in every instance possible? Or are there young people watching? Sometimes they cannot control their giggles. Other times, its their insecurities too that make them make spectacles of other people's mistakes.

Regardless, the laughter you provide others could be considered a great gift if you can find it in you to laugh out loud too. In balance and bliss, that is an accessible solution.

I have another cousin that used to be so amazing in this category. If you fell, she would first make certain you were okay then, she would look you directly in the eye and laugh. The look she would give you, would leave you laughing uncontrollably; so much so, you could not be embarrassed, nor could you muster the energy to stand erect again for another 10 minutes (a sure fire way for everyone to know that you fell). These days, she gets embarrassed too.

Why are we so serious and without the power of "laughing out loud at ourselves?" Why has embarrassment taken a front seat in our lives? Where is our balance & bliss?

Well, I am still laughing at my husband's dream. I wonder if it would have been funny in real life. Could I have laughed at myself? Furthermore, who would have been the kid or beautiful person in the room that made a spectacle of me?

Probably, my husband.

Pondering Thank You

2008-01-31T19:23:00.001-06:00

I believe that we are all connected and together we gather at a certain time (in spirit) to review the heart of everyone's desires. Then, we connect people and moments in time & spaces to provide opportunities for each of us to make our desires a truth. Why would we do this? Because, at our center, we truly desire the best for each other.

So, last night, before bed, I said "Thank You," to The Universe. That is, I said "Thank You," to you.

My night's rest was so peaceful that I woke up and said "thanks for a good night's sleep and the day ahead of me. " I visually created a blissful morning by seeing myself calm and happy. Then, I said to The Universe, "This is my heart's desire."

I went downstairs to a wintery wonderland day, the kind I love. My husband advised me that we were to expect 7" of snow. He departed to run a few errands and I realized that the kids were still asleep.

Alone at last. Could this be every mom's secret desire (a moment of peace and happiness, with sleeping babies and husbands that run errands)? I smile, check my emails, take a shower, plan my day and begin reading a book over a cup of tea.

Two hours later, I realize I need to get dressed and awaken my 3 year old for ballet. Journey, the perfect ballerina, fairy, princess toddler, would never intentionally miss ballet. So, it is no surprise that just as I enter her room, she awakens with a smile. Getting her dressed is no problem, she fully cooperates (after all, it is ballet). She's dressed and her hair is combed in record timing. We go downstairs to gather morning fruit & granola to take along for the ride. Then, we begin to put on our outerwear.

My husband rushes in, ten minutes beyond the time we agreed upon, (to ensure a punctual arrival at ballet). "The roads are fierce," he exclaims. "People are sliding everywhere and I witnessed two accidents. In fact, I just missed being a part of one of them. So, be careful." "Okay, " is all I can say. "Gosh, I feel awfully calm," is what I am thinking.

The car is clean and as it turns out, I experience nothing but perfectly shoveled and salted streets. My daughter and I arrive with time to spare and secure a perfect parking space. Today, somehow, I thought to dress her in a manner that was warm and extremely easy to undo for class (I'm never this good), so she's ready before time. I discover she has left her ballet slippers somewhere and immediately one of the other ballet moms offers to watch her while I go back to the car to search. They are exactly where they should be (on any other day, my husband would have removed them when he cleaned out the car).

Journey's in class, happy and fully immersed in a world of ballet & girly stuff. So, I decide to take a leisurely, wintery walk to the Starbucks, just two blocks away. The barista informs me that the espresso machines are down so, he gives me a free cup of coffee and a coupon for a free cup of anything at my next visit to any Starbucks. The coffee is yum.

I get back in time to chat with a few parents and read a chapter of Eat, Pray, Love (If you own this book, you know that the chapters are super short; perfect for homeschooling moms that are constantly being interrupted by children that are afraid their mother is reading something that separates her from their world).

When class is over Journey cooperates again. We play in the snow and get in the car and return home warm and safe.

So, I've come to the end of a perfect morning. Perfect in every way. Is it just my perception or is it just because I said "Thank You."

Beginnings

2008-01-25T11:36:00.000-06:00

For the longest time, I've been trying to figure out what I should blog about.

I am a homeschooling mom and have been reading a few blogs written by other homeschooling moms. I love the ones that are written with humor and tips. They are witty and make the job of homeschooling more enlightening and enjoyable.

I am a business communicator (new wording for "writer") & strategic planner for the non-profit sector. I could blog about my business experiences or about the non-profit sector but, that might be boring. Besides, I should save the technical stuff for my business website.

The purpose of this blog is to give me a creative outlet that gets me writing and hopefully attracts an audience that enjoys my style of writing (as well as, wants to read what I have to say). So, what do I write about? Oh! My aha moments, my analytical moments and my moments of intuition. These are the things that my most thorough internal communications are made of. Maybe those reading my blogs might even ask questions that give me something to ponder & write about. How exciting is that?!

Well, let's get started. I hope you like it. Maybe I can find a book in here somewhere.

Yvonnie